Another Chapter

Another chapter in the "Days of the Higgins' Lives".......who knew that this particular journey would be so hard?! I honestly think/know that this is the hardest time in my life. My heart breaks every day that my girls see me or their daddy upset, argue, distant, confused, etc. I can't explain the emotions that go through me when they want to hear daddy sing the "truck song" to them at bedtime...over the phone. My heart aches for the man (that has been a part of my life for so long) when I see the pain I am causing him. I never meant to cause my family so much pain. Our girls are young, they will eventually forget this chapter in their lives. Especially if mommy and daddy can be friends. Which is what I hope and pray for each day. As far as Kevin forgetting, I know that will never happen. I just hope that he will eventually realize that I never set out to hurt him and also realize that I am not the woman for him. He deserves a love that I cannot give him. I know that he will find that one day. He swears to me he will prove me wrong on the things I have had issues with. I hope he is right, not only for himself but for the two beautiful girls that love him so much.

Several people think I have no emotion left. Well they couldn't be further from the truth. They obviously don't know me. My emotions have taken a different course. I am trying so hard to put that smile back on my face that I once had that wasn't forced. I am hoping that by putting up the facade of being happy it will make me believe that things aren't so bad, they will get better. What I have chosen to do is extremely difficult. I wouldn't say it is all Kevin's fault. We all change as life goes on. Not always do we change and grow at the same time (or ever) as our spouses.

To my mom & all of my friends: I can't thank them enough for all that they have done. The moral support, sitting on the phone while I cry, bitch until I'm blue in the face, scream or sit in silence, offering their house even though they are busting at the seams already. A simple prayer and Lord knows I need many of those. The hugs, the phone calls, the texts and emails are all so grateful. Not a one of them have been over looked. I am truly blessed to have so many caring people in my life. Thank you!!!

As many of you may know, Kevin & Tiffany are separating. We (Tiff) have decided to restructure our relationship. Things happen and they happen for a reason. Please remember that there are 2 sides to every story and I do NOT think one side is better than the other. In my eyes, this has been a long time coming (reasons do not matter). I (we) love our girls more than life, as all of you know, and all I/we want is to make them happy....whatever that may be. Everyone has an opinion (you can have it but please keep it to yourself). All we need is support...the support of family and friends to listen, not judge. The occasional hug, wink, email or text to let us know we are in your thoughts and prayers will be more than grateful. We love all of you, whether we have shown that lately or not, we do. Neither of us have been in the correct state of mind lately. I/we only hope you can forgive us if I/we have said or done something that is out of character. We aren't exactly us as of late. Thanks again for your support!!!! ~ Tiff